Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
