Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just forgot I was standing up.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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