loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
