I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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