i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
