Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
