I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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