It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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