I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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