Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
