You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
