let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
