He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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