idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
