I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
