Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
