Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
