Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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