But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
