You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
