Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
