Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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