I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
