So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
