i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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