franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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