Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
