I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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