I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
