I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
