That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
