so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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