listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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