why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
