You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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