Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
