she looked like the bat from fern gully.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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