i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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