She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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