so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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