let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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