that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
