is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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