Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
