if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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