I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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