Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
