There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
