OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
