if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
