Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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