Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the day after is always just damage control
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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